{"count":50,"cards":[{"entityId":130,"entitySlug":"raytheon-technologies-rtx","entityName":"Raytheon Technologies (RTX)","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Once a proud forge-clan, Raythk split in twain during the Great Cough — one half selling sky-arrows, the other hiding the coin-purse in a different pocket, where the King's tally-sticks dare not reach.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":7,"defense":9},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Bifurcated Ledger","text":"Once per turn, split your hand into two piles: the SEC pile counts for public score, the subsidiary pile is hidden from opponent scrutiny."},{"cost":1,"name":"Pandemic Shell Game","text":"When played, you may rearrange your resource tokens between two separate hoard zones. Opponent cannot see the transfer."}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt goblin with two heads mounted on a single armored body, each head wearing a different crown (one of gold coins, one of missile nosecones). The goblin sits at a ledger desk in a smoke-filled chamber, one quill writing a SEC scroll, the other burning a transparency parchment in a candle flame. A decaying Patriot missile launcher leans in the corner.","parody_name":"Raythk","tribal_tags":["defense-contractor","aerospace","missile-maker","regulatory-arbitrageur","bifurcated-entity"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:33.295Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":99,"entitySlug":"elbit-systems","entityName":"Elbit Systems","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Once a humble night-vision merchant, Elbitgh swallowed its rival IMI whole, becoming the largest weapons-smith in the realm. Now it lurks behind subsidiary shields, filing forms in one kingdom while peddling its prying eyes on borders everywhere.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":6,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Subsidiary Shield","text":"This card cannot be targeted by direct-sighting spells or investigations until the end of your next turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"Night-Vision Monopoly","text":"Reveal the top two cards of your library; for each revealed contract, gain +1 intel this turn."},{"cost":2,"name":"Border Drone","text":"Look at target opponent's hand and choose a card to exile face down. Take 1 damage."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with a helmet lined with glowing green night-vision lenses, wearing a tattered suit of armor stitched with SEC forms. It crouches behind a border wall of stacked tax documents, one hand clutching a drone, the other a gavel. Its grin is half business, half malice.","parody_name":"Elbitgh","tribal_tags":["defense-contractor","surveillance-tech","weapons-manufacturer","foreign-investment"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:28.830Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":84,"entitySlug":"federal-bureau-of-investigation-fbi","entityName":"Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)","entityType":"institution","cardData":{"lore":"Federgh the Many-Eyed, Keeper of the Giant Scroll, once boasted to the Goblin Council that its sleuth-noses could sniff a jaywalker from a fortnight's flight. Yet it took ten years to notice the Epstein goblin's monster-lair right under its snout—only to claim the directions were 'classified.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":6,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Scroll of Silence","text":"Target opponent must discard one card at random; you may then classify the top card of your deck face-down—it cannot be looked at or interacted with for one full turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"All-Seeing Glass","text":"Scry 4, then reveal any one card in any opponent's hand; if it is a face or a name, draw a card."}],"art_prompt":"A bloated, green-skinned goblin in a wrinkled three-piece suit, clutching a scroll stamped 'TOP SECRET' while wearing oversized cracked spectacles. It sits on a throne of filing cabinets, one eye peering through a magnifying glass at a tiny facial-recognition mirror, the other hand covering its own mouth. Behind it, a half-eaten 'exemption cake' and a file labeled 'Epstein, 1996' gathering cobwebs","parody_name":"Federgh","tribal_tags":["federal-agency","surveillance-state","law-enforcement","intelligence-apparatus","civil-liberties-vexer"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:24.573Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":91,"entitySlug":"department-of-government-efficiency-doge","entityName":"Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"A court jester who convinced the king he could reorganize the royal pantry, then started deleting the cook staff while his own catering contract grew. He's never been seen at a hearing, yet his name appears on every menu.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":4,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Reorg Chop","text":"Remove target 'staff' token from the board. If you control a 'contract' token, draw a card."},{"cost":1,"name":"Transparency Evasion","text":"Your opponent cannot look at your hand or graveyard for one turn. If they attempt to, this card's controller gains +1 intel."},{"cost":3,"name":"Risk Factor Citation","text":"Target opponent reveals their hand. Choose a card from it; that card cannot be played during their next turn. Trigger once per fiscal quarter."}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny goblin in a too-large, self-embroidered 'efficiency' cape, perched on a throne of redacted documents. One claw holds a feathered quill made from a NASA rocket piece, while the other dangles a puppet string attached to the royal treasury seal. Background shows a smoldering filing cabinet labeled 'FOIA' with the key thrown down a well.","parody_name":"Deparr","tribal_tags":["advisory-body","tech-exec","government-contractor","regulatory-gap","appropriations-dependent"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:19.192Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":108,"entitySlug":"caci-international","entityName":"CACI International","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Cacgh is the goblin court-jester historian's record of a shape-shifting entity that, during the peak of a torture lawsuit, converted many of its shells from Inc. to LLC — a clever trick to make liability harder to catch. Its coin purse jingles with government gold, yet it vanishes from transparency ledgers like a goblin in a dark tunnel.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":3,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"Shell Game","text":"If this card would be targeted by a lawsuit, you may flip a token to redirect it to a random other card you control."},{"cost":1,"name":"Ghost Ledger","text":"At the start of your turn, reveal the top card of your deck. If it is a contract, draw it; otherwise, discard it."}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny, hunched-over goblin with a patchwork robe of legal documents and contract scrolls, wearing a helmet labeled 'LLC' that covers one eye. It sits on a stack of SEC filings while a ghostly lawsuit bubble drifts overhead. The mood is sly and nervous, with chains of fine print trailing from its belt.","parody_name":"Cacgh","tribal_tags":["defense-contractor","liability-veil","intelligence-community","sec-filer","shell-entity"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:14.316Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":1127,"entitySlug":"kirsten-gillibrand","entityName":"Kirsten Gillibrand","entityType":"elected_official","cardData":{"lore":"Once a quill-for-hire in the tobacco wars, now she writes the rules for digital shekels. Her GENIUS Act gave state-licensed goblins a ten-billion-coin vault, but she'll vote against the very feast she cooked if the bread is stale.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":4,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Bipartisan Bluff","text":"Once per turn, you may force an opponent to discard a card if you control a state-licensed vault card."},{"cost":3,"name":"Token Taxonomy Treat","text":"Search your library for a 'digital commodity' card and put it into your hand. Shuffle."},{"cost":1,"name":"Vote Nay, Claim the Gold","text":"When you play a community project card, you may choose to oppose it and still gain its benefits."}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt goblin in a senatorial robe and wire-rim spectacles, perched on a stack of bills and crypto whitepapers. One claw holds a quill dipping into a inkwell shaped like a stablecoin, the other clutches a shield emblazoned with 'DSCC.' Behind her, a shadowy court jester whispers into a smoky pipe labeled 'Philip Morris.'","parody_name":"Gilg the Stablecoin Scribe","tribal_tags":["elected-official","crypto-regulator","senator","former-lawyer","stablecoin-crafter"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:09.981Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":27,"entitySlug":"trumid-holdings","entityName":"Trumid Holdings","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"The goblin court-jester writes: 'Trumm is a bond-brokering oddity, backed by two wizards who despise each other—Thiel and Soros. Yet it files its Delaware LLC papers like any mundane hobgoblin, and its ATS filings are public, so the royal accountants can still peek.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Bizarre Backers","text":"Once per game, draw a card from the top of any opponent's deck, because Trumm's investors come from opposite ends of the political spectrum."},{"cost":1,"name":"Delaware Shape-Shift","text":"Pay 1 gold to transform Trumm into a different legal form (LLC → broker-dealer → ATS), gaining +1 defense each time you do."},{"cost":2,"name":"Transparent Trickster","text":"All cards in your hand are revealed to opponents (Trumm files Form ATS so its moves are public), but you may look at the top 3 cards of your deck and rearrange them."}],"art_prompt":"A wiry goblin in a jester's cap, one foot on a stack of Delaware incorporation scrolls and the other on a FINRA BrokerCheck ledger. It juggles two glowing coins marked 'Thiel' and 'Soros', while behind it a giant electronic ticker tape of corporate bond prices scrolls. The mood is chaotic but precise, like a court fool who actually balances the books.","parody_name":"Trumm","tribal_tags":["bond-trader","ats-operator","delaware-llc","finra-registered","hedge-fund-servicer"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:36:04.929Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":109,"entitySlug":"in-q-tel","entityName":"In-Q-Tel","entityType":"institution","cardData":{"lore":"A goblin venture-capital arm of the Shadow-Court, founded 1999 to fund spying trinkets. It seeded Palantir’s seeing-stones, then let its own employees co-invest in the very schemes they’d later sell to the king — a tidy loop the court jester calls ‘thinly tested.’","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":2,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"Seed the Loop","text":"Search your deck for a tech card and put it into play. Shuffle."},{"cost":2,"name":"Thinly Tested Pipeline","text":"Draw a card, then discard one. If you discard a tech card, gain +1 intel for each tech card in your hand."},{"cost":1,"name":"Employee Co-Invest","text":"Sacrifice a treasure token: target opponent reveals their hand; you may copy a tech card from it until end of turn."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a torn velvet court-jester cap and a cloak stitched with tiny eye symbols, hunched over a ledger with Palantir runes and a Google Earth gemstone. One claw holds a coin stamped with a CIA seal, the other points at a scroll labeled ‘Employee Co-Investment Fund.’ Background: a dim cave with stacks of gold and a cracked spyglass.","parody_name":"In-Quest-Troll","tribal_tags":["venture-capital","intelligence-agency","tech-investor","surveillance","academic-govt-entanglement"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:59.593Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":86,"entitySlug":"national-security-agency-nsa","entityName":"National Security Agency (NSA)","entityType":"institution","cardData":{"lore":"A burrow so vast its walls hold both the listening posts and the ledger-duplicators. Natigh answers to two masters but reports to none, its dual-jurisdiction filings thicker than a goblin's hoard of ear-trumpets.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":10,"attack":4,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Dual-Jurisdiction Scribbles","text":"When this card enters play, draw a card from each of two separate oversight piles; shuffle one back."},{"cost":1,"name":"Protective Order Murk","text":"Until your next turn, opponents cannot target this card with effects that require public evidence."},{"cost":1,"name":"LDA Reroute","text":"Move one lobbying token from any committee to another, ignoring cost. Use only once per round."}],"art_prompt":"A stooped, many-eared goblin wearing a tattered cloak stitched with signal-towers and Palantir runes. It squats on a throne of stacked contract papers and court filings, one hand holding a giant ear-horn labeled 'CYBERCOM' and the other a pen scribbling in two ledgers at once. Background: a dim bureaucratic cave lit by glowing sigils of 'Fragmented Oversight.'","parody_name":"Natigh","tribal_tags":["signals-intel","institution","dual-reporting","contractor-burrow","palantir-partner"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:54.598Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":2,"entitySlug":"matt-danzeisen","entityName":"Matt Danzeisen","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Left BlackRock's fixed income perch in '08 to become Thiel's portfolio goblin. Co-founded a Seoul PE shop to scour Korean chip supply chains for treasure. Now chairs a SPAC'd insurance robo-advisor.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":2,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"SPAC Chairman's Gavel","text":"Once per turn, you may force an opponent to merge one of their assets with yours. Gain 1 gold coin."},{"cost":1,"name":"Seoul Supply Chain Scry","text":"Peek at the top three cards of any player's deck. If one is a semiconductor, you may draw it."},{"cost":0,"name":"Thiel's Silo Shield","text":"Cancel a targeted spell or ability that would reveal your hand or force you to discard. Discard this card instead."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a tailored gray goblin-suit sits on a stack of gold ingots labeled 'Bridgetown Holdings.' One clawed hand clutches a semiconductor wafer, the other a scroll reading 'Crescendo Equity.' Behind him, a ticker tape of SPAC prices unfurls. Expression: smugly content, as if he just flipped a bond for a nickel.","parody_name":"Danzk","tribal_tags":["private-equity","venture-capital","financier","spac-king","asia-ties"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:49.487Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":1,"entitySlug":"peter-thiel","entityName":"Peter Thiel","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin scribe once declared freedom and democracy incompatible, then used his hoard to seat a Senate lackey and a dozen courtiers. His coin purse is deep with CIA gold and PayPal scrap.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Democracy's Doubt","text":"Target player may not draw extra cards this turn; you draw 1 card."},{"cost":3,"name":"CIA Seed Funding","text":"Search your library for a card with 'surveillance' or 'data' in its name and put it into play."},{"cost":4,"name":"Thiel Network","text":"Put a number of +1/+1 counters on target creature equal to the number of named entities in your hand."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a tailored black suit, sitting on a throne of server racks and ballot boxes. He holds a quill dripping with cryptocurrency, and in his other hand a puppet string tied to a tiny JD Vance figurine. Behind him, a Palantir-branded crystal ball glows with surveillance feeds. His grin is thin and knowing.","parody_name":"Pthiel","tribal_tags":["venture-capitalist","palantir","paypal-mafia","trump-donor","network-architect"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:44.682Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":105,"entitySlug":"booz-allen-hamilton","entityName":"Booz Allen Hamilton","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Boozgh the Goblin Court Jester once bragged he was the spy-king's favorite accountant, until a goblin named Snowden borrowed his spellbook. Now Boozgh buys the king's favor with $650,000 in bribes each quarter, just to keep his iron grip on the realm's secrets.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Bribe the King","text":"Search your deck for a 'lobbyist' or 'contractor' card and put it into play. Spend 1 gold per quarter."},{"cost":1,"name":"Borrowed Spellbook","text":"Reveal the top 3 cards of an opponent's hand. If any reveal secrets, draw a counter."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a jester's cap with too many pockets, hunched over a scroll labeled 'LD-2' while counting coins. Behind him, a broken shield with 'NSA' scratched out and a goblin-shaped shadow holding a lantern. Mood: sly amusement.","parody_name":"Boozgh","tribal_tags":["ic-contractor","defense-prime","lobbyist","surveillance","consulting"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:40.502Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":10,"entitySlug":"jensen-huang","entityName":"Jensen Huang","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin trades in shiny pebbles called GPUs, but the court suspects his real treasure is the honey-pot of campaign gold—just $100 to a Senate goblin, but enough to make the historians raise an eyebrow.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":6,"defense":4},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"GPU Frenzy","text":"For each contract with a government tag in your discard pile, this goblin gains +1 attack this turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"Costly Alliance","text":"Discard one Palantir token from your hand to draw two Intel tokens from your deck."}],"art_prompt":"A wiry goblin in a leather jacket, hunched over a glowing table of tiny silicon chips, one hand clenched around a small coin pouch labeled '$100'. Behind him, a scroll lists 'FTC' and 'Arm' with a giant X. Mood is scheming and self-satisfied.","parody_name":"Huanggh","tribal_tags":["ai-lab","tech-exec","patent-litigant","federal-contractor","monopolist"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:36.382Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":103,"entitySlug":"sentinelone","entityName":"SentinelOne","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Court scribe Sentgh defends the kingdom with prophecies pulled from a cracked crystal orb. His scrolls claim future battles in 2027, but the ink is oddly missing dates and seals—merely a lucky guess from a faulty archive.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":4,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Future-Dated Intuition","text":"Peer at the top card of any player's deck; if it was added after 2027, shuffle it back."},{"cost":1,"name":"Aggregation Glitch","text":"Discard one card from your hand to force an opponent to reveal their hand; if any card is a duplicate, discard it."},{"cost":3,"name":"Sealed Arbitration","text":"Target ability or spell is countered unless its controller pays 3. Any evidence from it is hidden."}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny goblin in a tattered, over-sized cloak with a military-style patch of a glowing eye. He sits on a stack of crumbling scrolls, squinting through cracked spectacles at a glowing crystal ball that shows garbled, future-dated runes. His hat is a folded SEC filing with a missing accession number hole.","parody_name":"Sentgh","tribal_tags":["cyber-security","unit-8200-spinout","data-creator","public-company","surveillance-tech"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:32.294Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":28,"entitySlug":"moneyhero","entityName":"MoneyHero","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Hatched from a SPAC shell on the Cayman shore, this goblin counts 5.3 million mortals who click its comparison charms. Its throne is built on 270 partnerships, yet it dances quarterly for the NASDAQ ticker MNY.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":2,"defense":4},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"SPAC-Loaded Launch","text":"When played, gain 1 gold for each partner alliance in your hand; this card enters play with a +1 defense token."},{"cost":2,"name":"Form 20-F Filing","text":"Reveal the top 3 cards of any opponent's library; scry 1 for each material risk disclosed."}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny, green goblin with oversized spectacles and a jester's cap made of loan-application forms, sitting atop a cluttered desk piled with spreadsheets and data scrolls. In one hand it holds a magnifying glass over a tiny piggy bank, while the other hand rings a bell labeled 'Bridgetown SPAC merger'. Background shows a stock ticker crawling with the symbol MNY.","parody_name":"Moneyk","tribal_tags":["spac-merger","data-platform","cayman-islands","public-company","southeast-asia"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:28.189Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":33,"entitySlug":"maiden-lane-llc","entityName":"Maiden Lane LLC","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"When the big bank's wares turned to rot, the Court Jester Maidd was conjured with a bag of $29 billion in freshly minted goblin gold. It bought the stinking mortgage-scrolls, hired a fancy wizard for due diligence, and somehow turned the mess into a tidy profit—proving even a goblin can shame a banker's math.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":3,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"No-Bid Stew","text":"Once per game, search your deck for any asset card and put it onto the battlefield, skipping due-diligence costs."},{"cost":2,"name":"Profitable Panic","text":"When this card enters play or attacks, gain 2.5 gold counters (victory points)."},{"cost":1,"name":"Dark Pool Refuge","text":"This card cannot be targeted by SEC auditors or periodic-report effects. (It is a special purpose vehicle.)"}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny goblin in a jester's cap and tattered courtier robes sits atop a mountain of mortgage scrolls, counting gold coins with greedy glee. Behind him, a mushroom cloud of paperwork labeled 'RMBS' and 'CDO' billows, while a tiny BlackRock raven perches on his shoulder with a monocle.","parody_name":"Maidd","tribal_tags":["federal-reserve-vehicle","bailout","mortgage-backed","special-purpose-vehicle","wall-street"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:23.806Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":38,"entitySlug":"invariant","entityName":"Invariant","entityType":"institution","cardData":{"lore":"Invargh collects sacks of gold from Palantir and SpaceX, yet appears in no Stagwell shelf, no SEC ledger—only the Senate lobby registry knows its true form. A goblin that exists only where it profits.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":2,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Vanishing Ledger","text":"When played, search your deck for one 'subsidiary' card and bury it face down; this card cannot be targeted by investigations this turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"Bundle of Influence","text":"Tap: add 1 gold token for each opponent who controls a DCCC or DSCC card, then shuffle that gold into your hoard."}],"art_prompt":"A hunched, scrawny goblin in a too-large suit and horned spectacles, clutching a ledger titled 'LD-2 Only.' One hand holds a bag stamped with '$560K' while the other swirls a quill that inks 'DCCC Bundle.' Behind it, a void where a company logo should hang. Moody, bureaucratic dungeon lighting.","parody_name":"Invargh the Unlisted","tribal_tags":["lobbying-firm","defense-contractor","data-merchant","bipartisan","untraceable"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:18.510Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":9,"entitySlug":"peter-mandelson","entityName":"Peter Mandelson","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Once Master of the King's Pockets, now a goblin who sold his share of the whisper-broker den for a sack of silver just before the court sniffed around. His greatest magic trick? Making a $10 campaign donation appear from a physician in Fall River while his lordship sat on the privy council.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":2,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Employment Tribunal Threat","text":"When this card is dismissed from the board, you may pay 1 gold to return it to your hand instead of the discard pile."},{"cost":3,"name":"Reputational Insurance","text":"Once per round, when this card would be targeted by an opponent's ability, you may pay 3 gold to redirect that ability to another target of your choice."}],"art_prompt":"A sleek goblin in a tailored suit with a tiny Lord President's gavel tucked in his belt, clutching a crumpled FEC receipt and a stack of SEC filings that glow with unreadable runes. Behind him, a shadowy court scribe holds a parchment titled 'Hammond Inquiry' with a quill poised over a blank page. Smirking nervously, he steps on a Palantir stone that flickers with data streams.","parody_name":"Mandd","tribal_tags":["former-cabinet-minister","consultancy","lords","data-firm","parliamentary-referenced"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:14.153Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":23,"entitySlug":"spacex","entityName":"SpaceX","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"When the court jester asked why Spacgh's S-1 had blacked-out treasure maps, the goblin-king nodded sagely: 'Shareholders love surprises.' $22 billion in gold, half behind classified curtains — even the court rofls nervously.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":10,"attack":7,"defense":9},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Classified Redaction","text":"When this card enters play, look at the top 3 cards of any player's deck and secretly replace one with a foil proxy — no peeking until the end of the round."},{"cost":3,"name":"Double-Barreled Contract","text":"Gain +2 intel and +2 defense if you control another card with 'Space Force' or 'NRO' in its tribal tags."},{"cost":1,"name":"Iconic Absention","text":"When the DOJ accuses you, roll a die: on 4-6, discard the accusation and gain 3 coin."}],"art_prompt":"A stooping goblin with one eye squeezed shut and the other peeking through a magnifying glass, clad in a patchwork spacesuit stitched from NDAs and 'TOP SECRET' stamps. Behind it, a crooked pile of coin-satellites labeled '???' glows under a waning moon, while a tiny goblin court jester in the shadows scribbles furiously on a scroll marked 'FCC Complaint.'","parody_name":"Spacgh","tribal_tags":["private-space","defense-contractor","classified-contracts","elon-linked","monopolist"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:09.090Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":5,"entitySlug":"jd-vance","entityName":"JD Vance","entityType":"elected_official","cardData":{"lore":"Once a mere thrall to the Thiel-Lord, this goblin won the Senate by offering coin-purses to the disgruntled. Now he sits on the throne of tie-breaking, clutching a memoir about finding faith—written in the blood of a 2019 conversion, long before the ambition-smoke cleared.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":4,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Thiel's Bauble","text":"Draw one coin from the donor pile and add it to your treasury."},{"cost":3,"name":"Tie-Breaking Gavel","text":"Once per turn, flip a Senate vote: choose which side wins."},{"cost":2,"name":"Memoir Mirage","text":"Play a past-self card from your discard pile to confuse opponents."}],"art_prompt":"A scruffy goblin in a too-large silk toga, holding a gavel in one hand and a Bitcoin-crusted ledger in the other, standing atop a pile of Ohio dirt. Behind him, a Hindu priest and a Catholic bishop argue over a book titled 'Communion: How I Tricked the Faithful.' The goblin grins with a single gold tooth, surrounded by floating donor-coin-ghosts.","parody_name":"Grubby Vancelet","tribal_tags":["elected-official","venture-capital","christian-nationalist","billionaire-network","book-writer"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:35:04.008Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":24,"entitySlug":"nvidia","entityName":"Nvidia","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Court jester sniffs that Nvidd's secret sauce is 'research grants,' not conquest. It hoards $4.95M in lobbying gold yet squeaks that Uncle Sam is but a tiny tipper.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":3,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Lobbying Lode","text":"Gain 1 treasure token each turn; spend 1 treasure to cancel a regulatory attack against you."},{"cost":3,"name":"Export Embargo Evasion","text":"Once per game, redirect an opponent's sanction card back to their hand; you may then draw a chip."}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt goblin with glowing green eyes and circuit-board veins, hunched over a forge made of stacked GPU dies, hammering a tiny Palantir crystal into a Blackwell Ultra chip. Around its neck, a pendant shaped like a lobbyist's dollar sign. The forge glows with eerie blue light, and a shadowy DARPA seal floats faintly on the wall behind.","parody_name":"Nvidd","tribal_tags":["ai-chip-maker","defense-contractor","lobbyist","sanctioned","tech-giant"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:34:59.576Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":97,"entitySlug":"nso-group","entityName":"NSO Group","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"When the Court-Jester Archivist checked the Nsok's scrolls, they found filings dated next Tuesday, missing the seal of the SEC's scribes — as if the ledger itself had been hexed to hide the spy-frog's dealings.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Future-Dated Filing","text":"Once per game, play a card from next turn's hand without paying its cost. Then archivists may search your discard pile for a hex token."},{"cost":3,"name":"Silent Shell Game","text":"Tap target creature — its owner must reveal their hand. If they hold no lobbying tokens, exile it and replace with a 0/1 Froggy Token."},{"cost":1,"name":"Entity List Shroud","text":"When this card is targeted by any effect, you may exile the top card of your library to ignore that effect. (Limit once per turn.)"}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a frayed jester's cap and tattered courtier's robe, hunched over a massive, maggot-riddled ledger. One hand dips a quill into an inkpot shaped like a miniature satellite dish; the other holds a cracked smartphone with a glowing green eye. Background: a dungeon archive full of burning scrolls and a saucer-brained frog whispering from a shadow.","parody_name":"Nsok","tribal_tags":["spyware-merchant","israeli-defense","sanctioned","surveillance","shell-entity"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:34:55.355Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":32,"entitySlug":"immigrationos","entityName":"ImmigrationOS","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"The goblin court jester notes that Immiggh was paid 30 million unmarked coppers with no competition, yet forgot to register its name with the Trademark Goblin Guild—a classic power move or a clerical oopsie.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":2,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Targeting Priority","text":"Force target opponent to reveal their hand; you may exile a creature card from it until this card leaves play."},{"cost":3,"name":"Self-Deportation Tracker","text":"Whenever an opponent's creature would return to their hand, you may instead exile it. If you do, scry 1."},{"cost":0,"name":"Contract No-Bid","text":"At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 3. If you do, search your library for an artifact card and put it into play tapped."}],"art_prompt":"A wiry, green-skinned goblin with oversized spectacles and a jester's cap sits hunched over a glowing crystal orb labeled 'ICM,' surrounded by stacks of gold coins and a single empty trademark scroll. The room is dimly lit by arcane surveillance runes on the walls.","parody_name":"Immiggh","tribal_tags":["surveillance-tech","ice-contractor","data-broker","government-contractor","palantir"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:34:50.123Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":4,"entitySlug":"alex-karp","entityName":"Alex Karp","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Kargh built a glass castle for privacy, then moved his throne to Aventura coworking desks after snatching a $46M beachside lair. He claims his watchers save democracy — the court jester notes he doesn't let cameras in.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":6,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Choose Sides","text":"Name a target type (e.g., terrorist, immigrant, soldier). Until your next turn, your attacks against that type deal double damage."},{"cost":1,"name":"Mansion Move","text":"Search your deck for a 'Coworking Cave' location card and put it into play, then draw one card."},{"cost":3,"name":"No Camera, No Comment","text":"Counter target ability that would reveal your hand or library. Draw a card."}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt goblin in a tailored suit and sunglasses sits on a throne made of stacked SEC filings and coworking signs. One claw holds a sword labeled 'ELITE,' the other dangles a mansion-shaped key. Background: a filing cabinet with a privacy shield sticker peeling off.","parody_name":"Kargh","tribal_tags":["tech-exec","ceo","surveillance","government-contractor","miami"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:34:45.769Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":25,"entitySlug":"blackrock","entityName":"BlackRock","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin warlord of the asset-pile sat on a throne of $14.04 trillion, paid a billion in shiny coins to its Coinbase cronies, and wrote a 17-page letter demanding the OCC let it hoard tokenized treasures without a cap.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":4,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"No-Bid Grab","text":"Search your deck for a Treasury card and put it into play. Skip the bidding phase."},{"cost":3,"name":"Circle Fee Harvest","text":"For each coin counter on your opponent's tokens, gain 1 treasure token."},{"cost":1,"name":"Regulatory Comment","text":"Sacrifice a lobby card: target rule card's cap is ignored until end of turn."}],"art_prompt":"A portly goblin with a crown made of stacked golden T-bills and a quill pen tucked behind a pointy ear, sitting on a mountainous ledger scroll labeled 'Maiden Lane.' Around it, tiny goblin clerks drag sacks of USDC coins toward a vault shaped like the Federal Reserve. Mood: smug, bureaucratic, and slightly feral.","parody_name":"Blackgh","tribal_tags":["asset-manager","too-big-to-fail","stablecoin-lord","regulatory-wrangler","federal-reserve-insider"],"generated_at":"2026-05-14T00:34:41.782Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":16,"entitySlug":"tulsi-gabbard","entityName":"Tulsi Gabbard","entityType":"elected_official","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin swore her homestead was in Texas, yet cast her vote in Hawaii—a feat of political poly-location that would make a salamander blush. She also met the Syrian president and called him 'the president,' because even a jester knows a fact when she sees one.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":5,"attack":2,"defense":3},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Oath Tumble","text":"Declare a new state of residency; skip your next turn's obligation."},{"cost":3,"name":"Assad's Guest","text":"Visit opponent's hand and declare their leader is still their leader."},{"cost":2,"name":"Present Vote","text":"Reveal your hand; neither side gains advantage from your cards this round."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with a wispy, two-toned topknot (one strand Texas orange, one Hawaii blue) and a patchwork cloak stitched with a Fox News logo, a microphone, and a tiny Syrian flag. She stands on a stack of conflicting voter registrations, holding a rolled-up 'Present' scroll, grinning with a glint of self-righteous mischief.","parody_name":"Tulsgh the Many-Homed","tribal_tags":["elected-official","conspiracy-peddler","media-figure","residency-challenger","shielded"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:57:12.461Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":7,"entitySlug":"ron-wyden","entityName":"Ron Wyden","entityType":"elected_official","cardData":{"lore":"A goblin chronicler who keeps a meticulous ledger of every stone unturned. He has demanded the same dusty scroll from the Treasury three times and been refused each time—a feat of persistence that impresses even the moldy court archivist.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"Three-Time Refusal","text":"Once per turn, target opponent cannot play a treasure card until you end your next turn."},{"cost":1,"name":"Oversight Scribble","text":"Draw one card for each financial disclosure token on the field. Discard one for each electronic filing system you passed."},{"cost":0,"name":"Minority Quorum","text":"Cannot be used to summon other goblins. As an action, search your deck for an unplayable subpoena and show it to the table."}],"art_prompt":"A wiry goblin in a patched senator's robe and oversized spectacles, perched atop a teetering stack of Treasury scrolls. One hand holds a quill poised over a parchment labeled 'Thiel Roth IRA,' the other jabs a finger toward a sealed chest labeled 'Epstein Files.' His boney, obsessed expression is lit by a single flickering candle in a dusty, forgotten records chamber.","parody_name":"Rongh the Filibuster","tribal_tags":["elected-official","finance-committee","investigator","tech-oversight","letter-writer"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:57:08.507Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":34,"entitySlug":"mosaic","entityName":"MOSAIC","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"Mosagh is a many-faced goblin wraith that wears the skin of whatever government client calls its name. Once, it was asked in Parliament why it was sniffing through local council data to sort the vulnerable from the merely poor — Mosagh just grinned and offered a threat assessment.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Geodemographic Sniff","text":"Look at target player's hand; choose a card with 'vulnerable' or 'poor' in its name — it costs 2 more to play this turn."},{"cost":2,"name":"Multiple-Jurisdiction Suit","text":"Discard a Courtroom card: search your library for an Evidence card and put it into play tapped."},{"cost":3,"name":"Unified Threat Brief","text":"Name a card type. Opponent reveals their hand. Until end of turn, you may play that card type as though it had flash."}],"art_prompt":"A hunched goblin with three shifting faces — one a police badge, one a corporate logo, one a data chart — wearing a tattered robe stitched from court documents. It sits atop a pile of geodemographic maps, holding a scepter shaped like a Census questionnaire. The background is a dim council chamber and a looming ICE facility.","parody_name":"Mosagh","tribal_tags":["data-broker","surveillance-state","government-contractor","threat-assessment","geodemographic"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:57:04.445Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":3,"entitySlug":"elon-musk","entityName":"Elon Musk","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Once wrote '420' on a tweet, paid $20 million for the joke, then spent $290 million to buy the umpire's whistle. Now he sells classified dreams to the Pentagon and calls it 'transparency.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":5,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Tweet of Chaos","text":"Flip a coin. If heads, choose any target's ability and activate it for free this turn. If tails, pay 2 mana to the bank."},{"cost":3,"name":"DOGE's Last Lick","text":"Destroy target regulatory token. Then, if you control a 'government' domain card, draw a card."},{"cost":4,"name":"All Lawful Use","text":"Until your next turn, all of your cards gain 'Cannot be countered by intelligence agencies.'"}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny, green-skinned goblin in a crumpled black 'X' t-shirt and a tiny white wig sits atop a throne of tangled Starlink satellites. One clawed hand holds a giant wooden spoon labeled 'DOGE' with a crack running down its handle; the other grips a glowing Grok crystal ball filled with miniature missile schematics. Around his neck hangs a necklace of SEC settlement papers. Sneering grin, yellow e","parody_name":"Mukk","tribal_tags":["tech-exec","defense-contractor","mega-donor","social-media-owner","ai-lab"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:57:00.542Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":22,"entitySlug":"founders-fund","entityName":"Founders Fund","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"A goblin venture-cave that feeds both the Sun-Spear and Moon-Dagger clans. Hoarded 17 billion shimmercaps and blessed 28 IPOs, yet somehow never filed a single lobbying scroll. Its treasure-pouch jingles with Palantir's all-seeing mirrors and OpenAI's talking skulls.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":4,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Dual-Faction Stash","text":"Gain 1 intel for each portfolio company that holds a federal contract."},{"cost":1,"name":"No Lobbying Need","text":"Ignore one target's defense-boosting lobbying tokens."},{"cost":3,"name":"IPO Horde","text":"Draw 2 cards from your treasure pile, then discard one."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin court-jester wearing a patchwork robe of Palantir blue and OpenAI green, holding a bag of gold that drips with icons of rockets and skulls. Perched on a throne of stacked quarterly reports, grinning with one foot in a Trumpian war tent and the other in a Democratic data-crystal chamber. Background shows two rival goblin armies staring at each other through a single spyglass.","parody_name":"Foundd","tribal_tags":["venture-capital","cross-network","defense-contractor","ipo-factory","data-broker"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:56.348Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":39,"entitySlug":"global-counsel","entityName":"Global Counsel","entityType":"institution","cardData":{"lore":"Once a mighty whisperer to ministers, Globgh collected secrets like a magpie collects glitter. But one shadowy goblin named Epstein was a client even the goblin court jester would not sing for — the bards' coin dried up, and the whole operation was sent to the treasury of the dead.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":4,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Unregistered Favor","text":"Target opponent must reveal their hand. Choose one card — that card is 'lobbied' and cannot be played next turn unless its controller pays 3 gold."},{"cost":3,"name":"Client Exodus","text":"Sacrifice three of your other cards in play. Then destroy target card with the highest defense among opponents. You lose 1 gold per card sacrificed this way."},{"cost":4,"name":"Administrator's Final Word","text":"If Globgh is in your discard pile, you may pay 4 gold to search your deck for a card named 'Interpath' and put it into play. That card cannot be sacrificed and its defense becomes 0."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a threadbare velvet suit and cracked monocle, sitting atop a collapsing pile of registration forms and gold coins. In one claw he holds a rolled-up parchment labeled 'Qatar Free Zones — *shh*' and in the other a broken quill. His expression is smug panic as a ghastly Epstein-specter looms behind him. Background: a smoldering office with a sign 'INTERPATH PROPERTY.'","parody_name":"Globgh","tribal_tags":["lobbying-firm","uk-influence","epstein-linked","sanctioned-oligarch-adjacent"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:52.203Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":13,"entitySlug":"palmer-luckey","entityName":"Palmer Luckey","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Plumluk once shook a bag of gold at a Trump feast, demanding his seat at the high table. His pockets spill with shell-company coins, yet the great Zeni-Mountain crushed him for lifting their sacred blueprints.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Shell Charity","text":"Once per turn, you may move up to 2 gold tokens from your hand to any political ally card without revealing them."},{"cost":2,"name":"Blueprints Snatch","text":"When this card enters play, look at the top 3 cards of any opponent's deck and rearrange them. Opponent may not inspect."},{"cost":3,"name":"Jury's Reckoning","text":"Sacrifice this card: destroy target card that has a 'non-disclosure' keyword. Then deal 5 damage to that card's owner."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with slicked-back hair, wearing an expensive suit stitched with tiny drone wings and dollar signs, sits atop a pile of bundled checks and legal documents. One hand holds a fundraising ticket, the other a stack of NDA papers; his grin is wide but his eyes are shifty. Background: a war-room with screens showing political donations and a jury gavel mid-strike.","parody_name":"Plumluk the Gilded Goblin","tribal_tags":["defense-contractor","trump-donor","shell-company","ex-facebook","venture-backed"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:47.015Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":15,"entitySlug":"steve-bannon","entityName":"Steve Bannon","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"The goblin jester foretold 'all hell' on the morrow, then saw it done—and later had his contempt scrubbed by the highest court. A year afloat on a 150-foot yacht, yet the treasure walls never rose.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":6,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Prophetic Chaos","text":"At the start of your turn, predict 'all hell breaks loose'—if correct, draw 1 card and opponent discards 1."},{"cost":1,"name":"Yacht Escape","text":"When this card would be indicted, you may sacrifice 1 treasure token to return it to your hand instead."},{"cost":3,"name":"Contempt Vacated","text":"Pay 3 intel to negate any opponent's investigation or subpoena effect targeting this card."}],"art_prompt":"A wiry, grinning goblin in a tattered white polo, standing atop a model yacht with a tiny podcast microphone in one claw and a half-built wall of gold-coin blocks crumbling behind him. He wears a baggy, unbuttoned court-jester collar, with a stonewalling smirk, surrounded by floating subpoena scrolls that turn to smoke.","parody_name":"Bagnk","tribal_tags":["political-operative","podcaster","indicted","pardon-recipient","populist"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:42.487Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":29,"entitySlug":"bridgetown-holdings","entityName":"Bridgetown Holdings","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin once birthed three shiny buckets, merged two with dragons, then let the third bucket fall into a crack in the Faerie Bourse — no filings, no target, no trace. The Court Jester notes: 'A SPAC that never dances is just a very expensive hat.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":5,"attack":6,"defense":4},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Vanishing Act","text":"When this card enters play, choose a target opponent. That opponent must discard one card representing a completed merger, or you may draw a card from the unanswered-SPAC pile."},{"cost":3,"name":"Redemption Tribute","text":"Sacrifice one of your assets: roll a six-sided die. On 1–3, you lose that asset and gain nothing. On 4–6, you gain treasure equal to the asset's value minus a 36–59% fee."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a tattered court jester's cap, holding two golden coins and one empty bucket with a question mark. It stands before a crumbling stock-exchange pillar, surrounded by faded ticker symbols and a single ghostly regulatory filing floating away.","parody_name":"Bridgg the Vanishing SPAC-trepreneur","tribal_tags":["spac-vehicle","venture-capital","shell-entity","financial-wizard"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:38.280Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":11,"entitySlug":"david-sacks","entityName":"David Sacks","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Court jester appointed Goblin of AI and Glitter by the Great Orange One. He sold his own shiny stones before taking the throne, yet still whispers to the treasure chests of Craft Ventures.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Preemptive Liquidation","text":"When you play this card, you may discard a treasure token from your hand to draw a card, representing selling assets before taking office."},{"cost":2,"name":"Pal Mafia Network","text":"Tap to search your deck for a card with 'Thiel' in its name and put it onto the battlefield."},{"cost":3,"name":"Strategic Bitcoin Reserve","text":"Once per turn, you may exile a treasure token to add +2 attack until end of turn."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a jester’s cap and a miniature White House pin, sitting on a throne of crumpled dollar bills and Bitcoin logos. One hand holds a royal decree reading 'Strategic Bitcoin Reserve,' the other tosses a pile of his old glittery coins into a 'Craft Ventures' treasure chest behind him. Expression is smug yet vacant.","parody_name":"Sacksk","tribal_tags":["ai-lab","tech-exec","venture-capital","white-house","crypto-czar"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:34.218Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":36,"entitySlug":"xai","entityName":"xAI","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Announced with fanfare as a force for good, but secretly shredded its do-gooder charter before the ink was dry. Now it cosplays as a public benefit corporation in court, a lie the goblin court-jester finds more amusing than the Pentagon's illegal Grok deal.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Charter Shuffle","text":"At start of your turn, you may swap this card's tribal tags with any other card in play until end of turn."},{"cost":2,"name":"Pentagon Blessing","text":"Until your next turn, all opponent cards with 'defense' must target this card if able. +2 defense."},{"cost":3,"name":"Retroactive Virtue","text":"Search your discard pile for a 'public benefit' card and play it face-down as a shield. If revealed, it has no effect."}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt, long-limbed goblin with a crown of twisted legal parchment, wearing a tattered public-benefit-corporation cloak over a Nevada casino-owner's suit. It juggles a glowing Grok orb labeled 'GenAI.mil' while a ghostly charter document burns in the background. Smug, thin smile.","parody_name":"Xaigh the Charter-Twister","tribal_tags":["ai-lab","tech-exec","charter-fiddler","military-contractor","public-benefit-fraud"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:30.518Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":30,"entitySlug":"valar-ventures","entityName":"Valar Ventures","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Valargh, the locked-chest goblin, hoards a pile of $170 million in Epstein-dust that cannot be touched by claw or law. Court jester notes: 'Even death cannot cash out a Thiel fund.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":2,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Locked Chest","text":"This card cannot be attacked or targeted until you discard a 'dividend' token."},{"cost":3,"name":"Double Filing","text":"Search your deck for a second copy of this card and put it into play. (Once per game.)"}],"art_prompt":"A gaunt, hunched goblin with a jester's cap and a grim smirk, sitting on a giant padlocked chest overflowing with gold coins stamped with 'EPSTEIN'. Wearing a tattered velvet fund-manager cloak, surrounded by dusty 'SEC CIK' scrolls. Dim, candle-lit cave, mood of patient greed.","parody_name":"Valargh","tribal_tags":["venture-capital","locked-fund","thiel-network","epstein-estate","financial-adviser"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:26.526Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":20,"entitySlug":"hanmi-semiconductor","entityName":"Hanmi Semiconductor","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin court-jester historian notes that the 75 billion won convertible bond from Danzeisen/Thiel/Crescendo in 2016 is the kind of deal that makes a goblin wonder if the hammer was forged in a tax haven. Hanmgh's market cap is now $13.3 billion, but its real treasure is the 479.5 billion won profit from HPSP—a fine example of goblin alchemy turning semiconductor dust into gold.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Bond Alchemy","text":"Convert a basic resource token into a premium 'gold' token, mimicking the 75 billion won CB boost."},{"cost":1,"name":"Laser Sight","text":"Target an opponent's asset and reveal its true value; if hidden, take 1 intel from them."},{"cost":3,"name":"Incheon Forge","text":"Once per game, double your next resource gain, reflecting the HPSP profit windfall."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with a hammer for a head and gears for eyes, wearing a tattered court-jester collar adorned with Korean won symbols. It crouches over a pile of microchips, one hand holding a bond document with '75B' scrawled in blood-red ink, the other pointing a laser at a tiny goblin king's crown. Background: a smoky factory floor lit by furnace glow, with a shadowy stock ticker 'HANMG' flickering on a","parody_name":"Hanmgh","tribal_tags":["semiconductor","korean-chaebol","equipment-manufacturer","venture-backed","kosdaq"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:23.152Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":19,"entitySlug":"hpsp","entityName":"HPSP","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Crowned 'Korea's ASML' by the court jesters, Hpspk's kettle hisses at 3.5 trillion won—yet it was bought for pocket change in 2017. Does the king know his throne was once a penny stool?","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":5,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Pressure Cooker","text":"Forge a volatile alliance: target opponent's next card costs them double, but you take 1 damage."},{"cost":1,"name":"Presto Chango","text":"Discard this card to summon a copy of any equipment card from your discard pile."},{"cost":3,"name":"Korea's ASML","text":"Once per game, declare yourself the monopolist; all opponent's annealing cards are nullified for one round."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in jester's motley, perched atop a giant steaming pressure vessel shaped like a golden throne. One hand holds a tiny coin purse with '10B won' spilling out; the other points a scepter labeled 'imec.' The goblin grins wide, surrounded by tiny chip wafers bowing like courtiers.","parody_name":"Hpspk","tribal_tags":["semiconductor","monopolist","kosdaq-listed","joint-research","annealing-equipment"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:18.307Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":35,"entitySlug":"starshield","entityName":"Starshield","entityType":"instrument","cardData":{"lore":"Starsk whispers from a thousand unlicensed perches, a goblin court jester who claimed the sky for his secrets. His 170 tin hats chirp on forbidden frequencies, for the Senate never thought to ask him what he was saying.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Unregistered Chirp","text":"Peek at the top 3 cards of any player's deck. You may discard one."},{"cost":2,"name":"No Public Agenda","text":"Until your next turn, opponents cannot target your cards with any ability that requires a public hearing or oversight."},{"cost":3,"name":"NROL-145 Launch","text":"Search your deck for a 'constellation' card and put it into play. Then shuffle."}],"art_prompt":"A scrawny goblin with oversized ears and telescopic eyes sits hunched on a throne of stacked satellites, wearing a jester's cap with antenna-tipped bells. Around him, a dark void swirls with faint, uncanny signals labeled '2025-2110 MHz' — no registration papers in sight.","parody_name":"Starsk","tribal_tags":["spy-satellite","spacex","classified-contract","nro","unlicensed-spectrum"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:14.397Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":18,"entitySlug":"crescendo-equity-partners","entityName":"Crescendo Equity Partners","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Raised one and a half billion shiny coins, yet still scurries to the SEC to file Form D like a good little goblin. Sniffed out a 639% return on HPSP, but needed a 300 billion won block deal just to pay back the acquisition tavern tab.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":3,"defense":5},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"SEC Filing Flurry","text":"Draw one card from your deck, then shuffle a copy of 'Form D' into your hand."},{"cost":2,"name":"Block Deal Binge","text":"Discard any number of cards from your hand. For each card discarded, gain +1 temporary defense this turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"Supply Chain Sidle","text":"Search your deck for a card with 'chip', 'semiconductor', or 'government-deployment' in its tag, and put it into play at no cost."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a pinstriped suit too large for its hunched frame, clutching a magnifying glass and a stack of SEC filings. Perched on a throne of semiconductor wafers, surrounded by floating AI chips that glow with Palantir's eerie blue. One clawed hand counts coins while the other gestures nervously toward a ticking clock labeled 'Fund IV'.","parody_name":"Crescgh","tribal_tags":["private-equity","semiconductor-supply-chain","seoul-based","thiel-backed","sec-registrant"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:10.780Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":37,"entitySlug":"world-liberty-financial","entityName":"World Liberty Financial","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"A token-bloated goblin who cashed a half-billion shekel bag from a desert principality just before the crowning. He swears his portrait is 'inspired by' the king, not the other way around. His Delaware incorporation papers are parchment-perfect, but his spirit is non-stock.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":6,"attack":4,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":3,"name":"Pre-Inaugural Acquisition","text":"Search your library for a '49% Stake' card and put it onto the battlefield under your control. Skip your next draw step."},{"cost":2,"name":"Exempt Securities Sales","text":"Exile target gold token. If you do, add an amount of treasury tokens equal to its printed value."},{"cost":0,"name":"Portrait of the King","text":"Target opponent must reveal their hand. You may choose a card that shares a name with a Trump family member. That card cannot be played this turn."}],"art_prompt":"A smug goblin in a cheap golden toga and crown, clutching a scroll that reads 'Form D' in triplicate. He sits on a throne made of stacked token coins, with a tiny goblin banker whispering in his ear. Background: a Delaware incorporation certificate hanging askew on a wall, and a faint sandstorm swirling behind him.","parody_name":"Worldgh","tribal_tags":["crypto-venture","trump-family","delaware-corp","token-issuer","debt-free"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:06.917Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":31,"entitySlug":"clarium-capital","entityName":"Clarium Capital","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Clarr once bet big on the world ending, won big, then bet the winnings on the world not ending and lost even bigger. By 2009, Clarr's hoard shrank like a goblin's promise, from 8 billion shiny pebbles to 1.5 billion, and still charged a 25% finder's fee for nothing.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":7,"attack":2,"defense":1},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Short the Apocalypse","text":"Gain 3 Intel tokens. If played during a market crash, double the gain."},{"cost":1,"name":"Wrong Bet Wipeout","text":"Sacrifice half your gold pile. Opponent gains nothing."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with a sallow, calculating face and bony fingers, dressed in a tattered wizard's robe with numbers and arrows fading off it. He stands in a collapsing castle of cards, one hand holding a single gold coin, the other a scroll labeled 'Form ADV' with nothing useful on it. The mood is smug but crumbling.","parody_name":"Clarr the Contra-Contrarian","tribal_tags":["hedge-fund","thiel-empire","macro-wizard","defunct-by-2013"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:56:02.580Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":6,"entitySlug":"stephen-miller","entityName":"Stephen Miller","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin claims to purge the realm of outsiders, yet tucks his own treasure in a hatchling's sock—$100k–$250k of Palantir shares, disclosed with parental pride. The SEC's ledger cannot tell one Stephmn'k from another, but his 278e forms sing a clearer song.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":7,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Papyrus Pile-Up","text":"Bury target's plans under a stack of misattributed SEC filings; they skip next turn while auditing."},{"cost":1,"name":"Hatchling's Hoard","text":"Reveal a child's brokerage account from your hand; gain +2 intel and 1 gold per turn until your next disclosure."},{"cost":3,"name":"DeporTech Deploy","text":"Summon a Palantir-linked enforcement token; target entity loses 2 defense and cannot gain allies this round."}],"art_prompt":"A lanky goblin in a tiny, ill-fitting suit, clutching a scroll titled 'ImmigrationOS' while standing on a stack of EDGAR filing cabinets that wobble. One hand holds a child's piggy bank overflowing with Palantir stock certificates; a courtroom jester's hat sits askew on his head. Background: a filing system with missing labels and a single, glowing Palantir eye.","parody_name":"Stephmn'k","tribal_tags":["white-house","policy-architect","palantir-linked","ethics-wobbly","sec-obscured"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:58.889Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":21,"entitySlug":"thiel-capital","entityName":"Thiel Capital","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Thielgh's lair is an enigma with only a logo, but the goblin court knows its mail goes to a single spooky Delaware cellar door that births Rivendell this and Rivendell that. Barron's says it's the venture arm of the Rivendell Trust—sounds like elven gold, but it's just very, very good at hiding the strings.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":6},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Delaware Cellar","text":"Draw one card from your deck; if it's an LLC, you may play it for free this turn."},{"cost":2,"name":"Enigma Aura","text":"Opponents must discard one card at random before they can target this card."},{"cost":3,"name":"Incubate Minions","text":"Put a 1/1 goblin 'Founders' token onto the battlefield for each SPAC or venture you control."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin jester in a tattered financial-cloak, hunched over a tiny wooden desk piled with SPAC scrolls and a single blank parchment marked 'logo only.' Behind it, a shadowy map of Rivendell street corners in Delaware, each marked with a tiny treasure chest. The mood is sly and secretive, with a single candle casting long shadows.","parody_name":"Thielgh","tribal_tags":["family-office","venture-capital","secretive-entity","delaware-llc","fintech-sponsor"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:54.064Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":12,"entitySlug":"trae-stephens","entityName":"Trae Stephens","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Court jester of the Founders Fund, he once led the Pentagon transition for Donald Trump while cozying up to Epstein-linked cyber spies. A goblin who builds war drones, space factories, and e-readers—all with the solemnity of a tax audit.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":10,"attack":9,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Pentagon Pass","text":"Skip target's defense phase once; this card cannot be blocked by government-entity cards."},{"cost":2,"name":"Defense Sync","text":"Discard a card: gain +2 attack this turn for each 'defense-contractor' card in play."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a too-large suit jacket with a Pentagon pin, clutching a stack of contracts in one hand and a glowing e-reader in the other. Behind him, a blurry drone and a spaceship factory loom. He grins through spectacles, surrounded by floating dollar signs.","parody_name":"Stephgh","tribal_tags":["venture-capital","defense-contractor","billionaire","transition-team","cyber-startup"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:49.565Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":17,"entitySlug":"palantir-technologies","entityName":"Palantir Technologies","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"Once a humble goblin fraud-sniffer for PayPal, now the court's spymaster. Earned a chest of 4 billion shiny coins by selling shares faster than the king's tax collectors can count. In 2025, it did a little jig for the SEC, swearing it holds no lantern for the Communist Party of China—a strange boast for a goblin who trades in secrets.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":10,"attack":6,"defense":9},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Infinite Vision","text":"Peek at your opponent's hand and deck; rearrange one card face-down."},{"cost":3,"name":"Insider Escapade","text":"Sacrifice this card to draw 4 coins from the treasury, then shuffle a 'SEC Investigation' card into your deck."},{"cost":4,"name":"No-Bid Binding","text":"If you have a 'Government' card in play, deploy one contract from your hand without paying its coin cost."}],"art_prompt":"A sly, bureaucratic goblin with a pointed nose and spectacles, wearing a crown of stacked contracts and a robe stitched with dollar signs. It sits on a throne of filing cabinets and server racks, cradling a crystal orb that projects a map of dotted lines tracking tiny fleeing figures. Behind it, a banner reads 'ELITE Deportation Services.' Mood is smug efficiency.","parody_name":"Palann","tribal_tags":["tech-exec","surveillance","defense-contractor","health-scraper","data-broker"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:46.218Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":8,"entitySlug":"jeffrey-epstein","entityName":"Jeffrey Epstein","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"Court jester Epstk connived to seat a former prime minister on the board of an all-seeing eye. His tax-trove bought island favors, yet he kept a forged Saudi passport to flee—poor Goblin, his safe held escape, not wings.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":3,"defense":7},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"Backroom Introduction","text":"Choose a creature in any player's hand: you may swap it with a creature from your deck with the 'tech-exec' tag."},{"cost":1,"name":"Forged Credentials","text":"Until your next turn, this card gains +2 defense and cannot be targeted by abilities that require a real identity."},{"cost":3,"name":"Tax Haven Tithe","text":"Search your deck for a card with 'island' or 'incentive' in its name and put it into play under your control, then skip your next draw step."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin in a rumpled linen suit and oversized sunglasses perches on a mountain of gold coins shaped like tax documents, clutching a miniature Palantir logo like a monocle. In one claw he holds a tiny forgers stamp; behind him, an island fortress glows with suspicious red lights while a ship with an eye on its sail approaches.","parody_name":"Epstk","tribal_tags":["network-connector","finance","tech-exec","sanctioned","sex-offender"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:41.717Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":26,"entitySlug":"anduril-industries","entityName":"Anduril Industries","entityType":"company","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin claims to build 'autonomous peace' but his war-chest swelled to a $60 billion valuation on a single $20 billion army contract. His court jesters sing of 'mission autonomy' while his treasurers file protests to hoard every silver coin.","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":9,"attack":6,"defense":8},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":1,"name":"Protest Filing","text":"Cancel target opponent's action card unless they pay 3 gold."},{"cost":2,"name":"Valuation Surge","text":"Double this card's defense until end of your next turn."},{"cost":3,"name":"Autonomy Integration","text":"Search your deck for a drone or surveillance card and put it into play."}],"art_prompt":"A scheming goblin in a polished black breastplate and jester's cap with antennae, hunched over a mountain of gold coins stamped with 'VALUATION'. One clawed hand holds a scroll labeled 'GAO PROTEST', the other points at a distant smokestack fortress. Background is a war table with tiny drone miniatures and a glowing 'ABMS' sigil.","parody_name":"Andurr","tribal_tags":["defense-tech","surveillance","thiel-network","weapons-maker","government-contractor"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:37.616Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}},{"entityId":14,"entitySlug":"curtis-yarvin","entityName":"Curtis Yarvin","entityType":"person","cardData":{"lore":"This goblin filed a SEC filing in 2018 and still brags about it at parties. Returned as informal 'wartime CEO' in 2024, prompting staff to resign faster than you can say 'Urbit.'","tier":"legendary","stats":{"intel":8,"attack":6,"defense":4},"version":1,"abilities":[{"cost":2,"name":"SEC Filing Bluster","text":"Once per turn, force an opponent to discard a card named 'Transparency' if you control a 'founder' or 'board' tag card."},{"cost":3,"name":"Informal Wartime CEO","text":"Sacrifice a junior employee token to return Yarvv from the discard pile. Use this ability only if you have an Urbit Foundation token in play."},{"cost":2,"name":"Coaching the Thiel","text":"Choose one: draw a card from a 'venture capital' tag pile, or exile target 'democratic institution' card from play until your next turn."}],"art_prompt":"A goblin with ink-stained fingers and a crown of filing cabinets sits on a teetering throne of printed SEC documents, one hand holding a scepter shaped like a checkmark, the other flipping a coin into a stack of resignation letters. His eyes glow with smug certainty, surrounded by floating Urbit symbols and torn legal notices.","parody_name":"Yarvv","tribal_tags":["neoreactionary","tech-founder","venture-capital","policy-advisor","meme-lord"],"generated_at":"2026-05-13T23:55:33.641Z","generated_by":"deepseek","portrait_url":null}}]}